Everything I Need to Know In Life I Learned From My Dog

I was mooching around the Self-Help section in my local Barnes and Noble the other day when I got to thinking about the first Self Help book I ever read. Most of the early ones were actually based on psychology and written by psychologists. Remember Im OK. Youre Ok.? It actually had pie-charts and you needed some intelligence to get through it.

I remembered, too, that during the rise of the Feminist movement in the Seventies the greatest of all self-help books were feminist books. Heady political stuff. These books actually changed the course of lives. How well I recall my first Consciousness Raising group. It was full of scary looking women in black mao slippers carrying well-thumbed copies of Simone de Beauvoirs Second Self. I was introduced to many of these books in my Assertiveness Raising Groups. A phenomenon so familiar, back then, we would casually refer to it, over our Chablis and Fondue, as A.R. Groups. As in Whose A.R. group are you in? I dont think A. R. Groups even exist these days. Why would they? Theyve gone the way of Betty Crocker and hipsters. Anyway, those books were rare gold. Passed around, recommended, endlessly discussed and few and far between.

Now, Self-Help rivals only Computer Software as the largest department in any bookstore. Everybody, it seems, has something to say. Self-help books are opinion pieces. And some of them are opinion pieces in very slim volumes with very big writing. And just to make things really interesting we know nothing about the writers so as to evaluate whether their opinion is actually worth more than a bus ticket and a cup of coffee. Do this. Do that. They are written by the dying the sick, the addicted, the narcissistic. Especially the narcissistic. Everybodys got the secret of life. Or at least that magic bullet which will help you go one or two days more.

Because theres no FDA to regulate the claims of these books theres no redress. And, being human, were all looking for short-cuts. As if theres a substitute for doing the work yourself. I personally believe that self-improvement is an inside job. Its not a How do I more a Why cant I. Most people know what they have to do they just dont want to do it. (Stop bingeing, drinking, whining, blaming everybody else. Get your butt off the couch and welcome the day and take responsibility for your life).

Of course, the placebo value is great. You actually may be getting something really valuable. But you dont know how your life wouldve turned out if you hadnt read them. Although I will cheerfully borrow self-help books I dont buy them for the same reason that I dont take expensive supplements or vitamins. Theres no quanitifiable measure of investment. The half-life of my vitamin intake is about two weeks or whenever I come to the end of the bottle, whichever comes sooner. Then if I am not halfway through writing the Great American Novel or training for a triathlon I lose interest and assume they didnt do anything. I guess the books make you think a little more. Another advantage is that by giving you shrink-wrapped pre-packaged insights they save you the work of actually trying to figure out this stuff yourself. Kind of like some people figure theyre off the hook for eating right if they supplement their diet with pre-fabbed nutrients.

And you cant argue with any of them. None of them suggest that you criticize your neighbor or cut people off on the freeway. Its all "be nice to people. Cherish your family. Dont limit your potential". All based on good solid Judeo- Christian, Buddhist, Bill W. values. All whirled together in one big centrifuge

They work on fear. If you dont do what they exhort you to do you run the risk of not succeeding; not achieving or reaching your potential.. What if you end up eating cat food all alone and this was the one last thing you hadnt tried?

So, again, there I was mooching around the Self-Help section the other day half-expecting to come across Everything I need to know about life I learned from my Manicurist When I realized that, actually, everything I need to know in life I probably learned from my dog.

You dont know him but hes quite a distinctive individual. Hes brave, relentlessly optimistic, completely present and entirely without artifice. What you see is definitely what you get. Hes also a great listener. Hes scared of a big monster dog which lives a few doors down and lunges at him each time he passes. So my boy steels himself and trots as quickly as he can past the terrifying fence to get to his favorite pee spot. No eye contact. He comes back the same way at a run. He gives me a hurried, frightened look as if to say Waddya gonna do? . If I leave him alone he sleeps. If I take him out he runs around happily and breathlessly until he can run no more. Either way works. He never holds a grudge and is always willing to kiss and make up if I hold a grudge. He is an opportunist and will take whatever he feels he needs i.e. any food that falls on the floor or looks like it might fall on the floor.

He trusts that the Universe, aka me, will provide for his needs. Hell walk over to his bowl and if theres food in it hell eat - if its empty hell go back to sleep until food appears..Either way works. He doesnt pace the floor worrying about when the food will come and if it will be enough or if it will be his last meal or if its meeting his nutritional needs.

I love my little guy with all my heart. After all - he'4CEs my guru. Im just trying to figure out how to translate his teachings into my own life.

Mary Rosendale is the earthly caregiver of Mr. Wally Barker and proud mama of "The Constructed Life" - a unique Holistic Life Coaching program to help you design and build the life you want. She loves to coach - so make her happy. Visit her on the web at http://www.TheConstructedlife.com or http://theconstructedlife.blogs.com and sign up for her free newsletter. Come play.